Who says winter is for staying home!

Hi everyone! Hope you all had a great weekend! I know I did!

Today was my rest day from the P90X what better way to spend it then in the mountains! We packed up the kids as well as friends of ours and headed out. It was a warm -5 and we enjoyed the out doors. There was a ice carving display on the lake and it was a great way to spend the day. We off course packed a lunch and then had warm beverages to keep us warm.

It was so nice to spend the day outside, this is normally a venture we take in the summer, but it's just as beautiful and breath taking in the winter!

We stopped at the candy store as well as a chocolate factory for the kids, and guess what...this girl didn't buy a thing for myself! Not one bite! I have goals and just didn't feel like treating myself today so I didn't. Instead I chose to have a skinny vanilla bean latte and it was delicious!

This brings me to my thoughts on the Month of January, in my honest opinion I can come here and tell you I kicked butt! After the slump of December I feel that I am at 100%. I worked out to put it lightly :0), ate well and it was just a great month. If January is a prelude to what my year will be like, then I can't help but say that I am excited for things to come!!!

My plans for February are to continue with the P90X, go to one class a week and to add running to the mix. I am excited and let February begin!

I leave you with a few photos of our day away from the grind of every day life, it was so nice to leave the house and encounter the beauty that is such a short drive away.

Don't do it! Ignore this post :-)

Tricia is having a give away over at her blog. I am telling you because it increases MY chances to win. Now please ignore this post and don't go there for your chance to win a RUNNING SKIRT......Just don't do it :-)

Oh and while your at it DON'T head over to TJ's blog because you really won't like what she's giving away either :-)

When it doesn't work - don't give up - adjust things!

I'm back! Thanks for your understanding yesterday, I just couldn't get my words together but that was not my only issue!

Wednesday evenings workout ended in me throwing in the towel so to speak at the 50 minute mark, not bad but I didn't finish. I just was physically done.

Yesterday I did my yoga DVD and stopped at a hour. I couldn't get the whole 90 minutes in again I was physically done!

I was proud of myself for making it that far but knew that I needed a break. I took a 30 minute rest on the couch while my son had his nap and just took it easy for the rest of the day.

As the evening progressed I decided that I wasn't going to go to my class, and to force me to take a rest I took a long bubble bath as soon as Peter got home from work and got right into my PJ's. This was my sign that I had the night off and I need to relax.

I curled up with a book (alot of dust came off the beck book :-)) and a bowl of popcorn.

The most important thing I have learned along this journey of mine is that when you body is hungry feed it, when it's thirsty drink and when it's tierd don't be a hero REST!!!

That being said I have decided to cut one night out of my evening classes. I will continue to go on Tuesdays but have decided to cut Thursdays.

When looking at what I needed to cut the P90X and the running that I am adding next week were not an option.

If you have been following me for a while you know that working out has changed my life. The running, biking, hikes, walking etc. etc....I love it all! just don't put me in a swimming pool, I will drown :-) I can only doggie paddle for so long before my arms give in.

You also know that if something isn't working, I will adjust it to make it work.

When I signed up for the half marathon I thought that would be my primary focus for the first five months of this year.

Then came this class that I thought would be perfect for me, because lets face it as a stay at home mom some times the adult interaction is needed!!

Then Peter came home one day and threw the P90X infront of me and said "lets do this!"

So what started as a "I would do this class 2 nights a week and on the other days I would run, has turned into a whirlwind and I needed to back off somewhere! The logical choice was my class, being that it's not a priority right now.

I feel comfortable with my decision and will continue to assess things as time goes on. For now I can say that I am very excited about the things that are happening to my body and how I am feeling (well except for the crash and burn I had yesterday). One day at a time is how I'm planning on continuing!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Oh and just a side note Meghan (thoughts of Meghan) if you are reading this post, you have your comments section turned off so I am unable to leave a comment, I was going to send you an email to let you know, but you have no email address listened in your profile. So if you are reading adjust your settings :-)

The words are just not flowing

Hi everyone, the words are just not flowing today....therefore I'm calling a mental health day, I'll be back tomorrow :0)

It hurts so good!

Yesterday was another stellar day! 1 hr of Plyometrics (my favorite DVD, it hurts so good!!)mid afternoon and one hour of my class last night. I would say that last nights class was harder then any of the others. I don't know if it's because I'm sore or if we picked it up that much but it was challenging. It felt more like a boot camp class last night, but I did it and felt great.

Last night was also weigh in which I was kind of dreading because I already went through that at home yesterday. Either way I knew it didn't matter what the scale says because it really doesn't. I am working harder then I ever have and I know that I will be rewarded in the end, just like I had mentioned Yesterday. Weigh in at my class had me down 0.4 of a pound - better then the gain I had yesterday but like I said didn't really matter.

On of the things that I have noticed in doing this program is that I do not want to eat anything classified as "bad". It almost feels like the amount of hard work I am putting in would be wasted on a "cookie". I'm not saying that it's bad because I am a strong believer in everything in moderation but it has just made me realize, it's just not worth it! I want to fuel my body with healthier options - nothing wrong with that.

Another revolation has been my water intake. I can't seem to hydrate enough! It really is great because this is an area that I have struggled in for a while. Sure I drank my water but now my body is telling me that it's something that I really need, can't seem to hydrate enough or stay out of the bathroom, with alot of water comes alot of potty breaks :-)

The one thing that still is in the back of my mind, ok maybe not the back more in the front is the Half Marathon. I'm not stressing over it because I know that I am getting stronger I can feel it. However, I am really missing running. It seems like with everything that I have on my plate that I am not finding the time to get out there.

Starting next week I'm going to add running to the mix, don't worry I'm not going to triple out my workout days - I'm not a machine after all, but I would like to get out on the weekends and gradually build on my distance, speed doesn't matter to me right now. The longest run I have had has been 12km and I basically need to double that in just a little over 4 months. I'm excited to get back out there!

There is nothing more I could of done

Yesterday was weigh in day and to say I was dissapointed was an under statement but I did turn things around, let me explain.

By disappointed I mean, I workout every day last week, Tuesday and Thursday was doubled up. Each workout was any where between 1-2 hours on each given day. I pushed hard at ever single one of my workouts. I took one day off which was Sunday my rest day.

Every morsale that I put in my mouth was accounted for. It was tracked and never once did I go over, never once did I say oh it's just a bite, it doesn't matter - I tracked EVERYTHING.

Each day I drank any where from 8 glasses of water at a minimum to a maximum of 10.

Each day I felt accomplished, I felt strong and I felt sore. I knew that the work I was doing was going to pay off.

What I didn't know is that the scale would not fall, instead it went up. It went up to 145.8 pounds from last weeks 144. Which is a 1.8 pound gain.

At first I was really disappointed, I put in alot of hard work and didn't get the pay off I was expecting. All week I though, I will finally maybe get closer to the low 140's. Instead I went up.

I thought back to when I was doing the 30 day shred and went up 3 pounds and everything sorted itself out in the end.

I knew that I couldn't get down about this because I still have a whole lot of days of P90X ahead of me.

Instead I said to myself "self do not let the scale dicated the hard work you have put in and the committment you have made not only to yourself but to Peter".

So I picked up a tape measure and took my measurments, something I wish I had done last week.

I am going to move forward and continue doing what I did last week because I felt so accomplished, there is nothing more I could of done and although the scale did not fall I am still proud of myself for making it through the first week and pushing forward.

'Twas the month after Christmas

One year ago I started my blog under Syl's Weight loss Journey, it has now been transformed into so much more...I continue to enjoy coming here and sharing my journey with all of you! I hope to one day come here and say I have crossed that finish line and I'm going to start maintaining. But for now I will continue to Live, Smile and Run :-)

I leave you with a special little something that I came across last year and thought you may enjoy it more than me blabbing on about something today :-).. I'll be back tomorrow to do that!

I wish I could tell you that I wrote this but I didn't and I'm not actually sure who did, just know it wasn't me, I can't take credit for it!

'Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

A week in review and playing catch up!

Hi Everyone hope you are enjoying your weekend.

Well I made it through my first week of P90X. Today is my rest day! Thank goodness for that.

Why don't you all make yourselves a coffee, this ones a long one!

I have to tell you that every day this week has been long and hard. This program definately is above my head in the strength department. But it has taught me that this is something that I am going to have to incorporate, even when I'm done the 90 days. I feel like I have more energy, I feel excited and even after 1 week, I feel so much stronger.

In the back of my mind are still thoughts of stress because of the up coming half marathon. After this next week of P90X, I am going to bring running back into the mix, I have to! So I'm going to be one busy little lady, but I am having the time of my life. I can see that finish line, I can see how this is making me feel and it's got me super excited! I am also loving the fact that Peter has got through his first week and is still willing to go further ! Yippee!!!!

The one thing that I have noticed is just how hungry I am! I am definately going to have to work my calories around. I have no idea of how many calories I am burning but I would rate the workout as intense and an hour a day would burn a fair share of calories, leading to my hunger. On top of this I also have my two classes a week, and if I'm going to incorporate running into the mix I am going to have to eat more!!! Can't complain there!

As an example this was my breakfast this morning, it was HUGE, I never eat this much for breakfast but today I woke up with such a hunger pain I knew I needed a bigger breakfast:

A half banana, dragon fruit (if you have not tried Dragon fruit do yourself a favour a buy one, it is a bright pink color with green leaves sticking out, I would say it tastes like a cross between an apple, a pear and a kiwi fruit - so yummy!) a strip of mango, a few strawberries, 2 slices of buttered toast and a hard boiled egg. It was a perfect breakfast!

I'm listening to my body and doing what it asks me to do, my weight has gone up a little this week but I'm not overly concerned, I will evaluate it at the end of the 90 days, no reason to stress about it right now. I'm doing everything I can and then some that's all that matters to me!
Ok on to some blogging awards, thank you to all who passed these on to me and I am so sorry it has taken me this long to address them.

First up 10 things that make me happy
1. Coffee! - I would love to have it dripping from an IV some days :-)
2. Summer
3. Fall
4. Pink!
5. running
6. My family
7. My friends
8. Music
9. quiet moments
10. Shopping :-)

and know 7 random facts about me:
1. I have been with Peter for 16 years - it took him 7 years to propose - at least he was sure :-)
2. I am an only child and it sucks!!
3. I always wanted 3 kids, I have changed my mind :-)
4. I never thought I would be a stay at home mom, but for now it works and I am blessed to be able to do so
5. If you would have told me two years ago that I would be training for a half marathon I would have laughed at you!
6. I love music, truly always have, it just makes me happy
7. I have a very serious problem with my husbands socks. I am surprised that he hasn't served me with divorce papers yet. I don't know how it happens but a pair of socks will go in the laundry and end up single on the way out....truly I can't explain it but I have a very good track record with losing socks :-)

Alright now the difficult part of passing these awards on, I hate to do this because I think everyone is deserving of these, no matter where you are in your journey...so if you are not on this list, please take the award because I think you all deserve them, and plus is kind of neat to learn new things about others!

Mendie
SueMac
Sandra
Susan
Leah
Jams
Tiffany

All right, gotta go get ready, going to a friends house this afternoon, be back tomorrow with something a little different!

Syl threw a Tantrum :-)

I wanted to start this post by saying THANK YOU so much for your continued support. The comments I received yesterday were over the top, I am so happy that you share my excitement with me, and I am hoping to one day soon come here and reward you all by saying "I AM FINALLY THERE!".

Yesterday was intense again. 90 minutes of P90X Yoga! This is not a relaxed, deep breathing kind of yoga class that I am use to. This probably was the hardest dvd so far. But I did it and it helped me alot. It stretched every sore muscle that I am currently carrying around.

As the day progressed I felt as though I would maybe "skip" my class tonight. I mean I had every valid reason to and then the following happened:

I went to the bathroom ALONE - this never happens because my 3 year old is attached to my hip and doesn't even let me do that on my own. It was a very nice 3 seconds! I came out of the bathroom and found my little "angel" and I use that term lightly COVERED FROM HEAD TO TOE IN MAPLE SYRUP - it was dripping everyone, all over the table, the hard wood floor, his hair was covered and it was dripping into his eyes which led to a full out TATRUM not by him by ME! I was soooooooo MAD!!!!

Then I thought about the peaceful torture of lunges, pushups, pull ups, crunches, running and I left for my class, there wasn't even a second thought on that one!

I also thought as I got into my car to go to my class how proud I was that I got in my car and went. If I am going to keep up this positive momentum that I so desperately need right now, there is going to be no "skipping".

I am very much looking forward to my rest day on Sunday! It's going to be very well deserved and very well needed.

Over the last week I have also recieved a few blog awards that I have not addressed yet, I am hoping to post about these on the weekend.

Oh and just to keep you on your toes, there will be a very special post on Monday, something a little different as it is my 1 year blogging anniversary. I can't even believe that I have been at this for a year and I haven't run out of things to say!! Happy weekend everyone!

It stopped me in my tracks!

Did you catch it...did you ...did you??? Did you catch the ending of my last post when I said "besides my ab area I am pretty ok with showing you these pictures"........

I have something to share with you...I AM SO FRICKEN HAPPY!!!

The other day I got out of the shower put on my undies and looked in the mirror, it may have been the steam from the shower but for the first time I LIKED WHAT I SAW!! Can you even believe it. I have seen it in pictures, remember when I said I liked what I looked like in the summer but ever time I looked in the mirror I still saw that 220 pound person looking back at me. Well on the weekend I saw the real me, the me that you see (well fully dressed me that you see :-)).

This feeling was amazing. And this feeling has been holding, and it took me into this little project of mine the dreaded P90X. I have to tell you that every single bone in my body hurts. It hurts to smile, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to walk, breath, eat, and don't even get me started on brushing my hair. When Peter asked me how I am feeling I responded by saying "I have never felt so confident in my life". This workout is completely above my head, but I am doing it, me little old Syl is doing it! I started out feeling really out of shape, well duh, I haven't incorportaed strength training into my routine until Monday of this week. Remember I am the cardio queen. But I feel strong, I feel accomplished, I feel in control, I feel that I can do this and the biggest feeling is I can't wait until I get to the end to see exactly what I want, I'm going to fight for it all the way to the end, this girl is not giving up!

Every day this week I have got up and continue to look in the mirror because I can't even believe what I am seeing. Yup it's still me nothing has changed since the weekend.

I can't even express to you how huge this was. After a year of seeing the big girl, it seems like just overnight, it took one long look in the mirror alot of tears and the hugest smile I have ever seen. I am here, I am seeing what you see and I couldn't be happier. I really don't know how it happened, I can't even explain it to you, but it's been the moment I have been waiting for, my head to catch up to my body.

Sure there are still moments of self doubt and negativity (like when I told you I won't post my back shot) but I am really fighting those thoughts, truly I am. Because this feeling is amazing, I don't want to lose it.

Today I give myself credit for continuing to make my dreams come true, for continuing to fight to the bitter end. I think I have nailed the "give yourself credit portion of Beck and am ready to move onto the next chapter.

I leave you with a picture taken today, hopefully you are able to see the confidence, it has stopped me in my tracks!

Help I've fallen and I'm NOT getting up!

Summary of Day 2 - Plyometrics...... the end result, this is how Syl looks with no makeup and after an hour of Jump training, not a pretty picture :-)


All kidding aside, this workout kicked my butt and I LOVED every single minute of it!!! I would say take the Shred and times it by a million, I'm not kidding, I have never sweated so much or felt so accomplished after doing a workout DVD! And guess what I had an hour long class in the evening yesterday too, if this doesn't get me in shape I don't know what will.

As I did this workout and listened to the commentary about how you would benefit if you are a runner it made so much sense. I am so nervous about my half marathon and that I will really only have a month and a half after I'm done these 90 days to train. But I am confident that these workouts will do nothing but benefit me and make me stronger. When ever I run in a race I have a time in mind but it doesn't really hold that much importance to me, what is important to me is I get out there, I run it and a cross the finish line. I am confident that with these workouts and the little time I have left to train I will set out to do exactly that, nothing else matters. I know it's only day 2 but I feel it already - NUTS!!!

Many of you asked if I was taking before and after pictures and what my meal plan is. Well....I did take before and after pictures both of myself and Peter. I have not got permission from Peter to post his and I can understand where he is coming from....but in all honestly he's so hot that I don't want any of you to get droll all over your key board, so I will just keep him for myself :-).

These are my before pictures, I have chosen not to post the back shot because I am not comfortable doing so. But I can almost guarantee that you will see an after shot of the back in about 87 days :-)

Oh and on the eating, I am not following the food plan associated with this workout. I am however continuing to track calories and adjust them according to how I am feeling. These workouts are intense and I have a feeling I will need to up my calories at some point in time.

Ok without further hesitation here are my official before pictures, use caution when viewing and don't say I didn't warn you :-) Just kidding besides the ab area I'm pretty ok with showing you these:

1 down 89 more days to go - I think I may die!

Yesterdays eats included blue berry waffles with Strawberries, rasberries and a few drops of maple syrup. This was so yummy but the stay power wasn't very long, not long after breakfast I had a banana and a handful of nuts.

For lunch I had toasted tomato and a side salad. I haven't had iceberg lettuce forever and it was really tasty. I added a little bit of ranch dressing and it really hit the spot.

For Dinner I had 3/4 cup of wild rice, 1/2 cup of shrimp and some green peas on the side.

Through out the day I also snacked on some fruit, veggies and maybe a few jelly beans :-)

All in all it was a very good day food wise. I do much better when I have protein in every meal but today I was going for filling up on fruits and veggies to get me back on track.

After dinner awaited the workout from hell! Seriously when I say that I mean it, Jillian has nothing on this guy. It was so nice to have Peter there because when we just couldn't do something we tried our best and then laughed about it. The one thing that I love about Peter the most is he makes me laugh, he has quiet the humor and yesterday it was needed. He cracked a few jokes and at the end he looked at me and said "we did it". We were both so proud of our accomplishments.

We did chest and abs which was an hour of push ups and pull ups! It was HARD! after that DVD we added the ab ripper according to instructions and I can say that we got through the whole 20 minutes but at about 70%. After the hour of chest and abs the next 20 minutes was very difficult.

Today there is another DVD scheduled and I also have my Tuesday evening workout with the ladies, it's going to be tough, but I need this. I have a picture in my head of what this is going to lead me to and if I can get there I will be one happy camper! The difficult part will be that I will be doing the DVD on my own because of my evening class, but I know that if I tell Peter that I've done it he will do it too...this team work thing really does have it's benefits!

When I was in shape I could do two!

Syl : "are you excited to get started this program tomorrow honey"
Peter: "I can't wait" (insert sarcasm)
Syl: "Do you know how to do a push up"
Peter: "don't I look like someone that can do a push up"
Syl: "how many can you do"
Peter: "Well right now I can do one, when I was in shape I could do two"

This is going to be a very interesting 90 days with my hubby!

Oh and this little experiement of ours has come at the perfect time, looks like someone had a little to much CRAP on the weekend, back up to 144 GRRR!!

I'm ready to get started, I'm ready to get out of the 140's once and for all and I'm ready to fight for the body I want.

I will report back tomorrow, hopefully I can get out of bed :-)

Entering the Witness Protection Program!!!

Hi Everyone! hope you had a great weekend, mines was full of sugar, pizza and alot of Children! My boys had their joint birthday parties on the weekend, it was fun, but also the last occasions and I couldn't be happier. With Matthew's birthday in December, then Christmas, then Justin's birthday it's nice to take a breather :-)

A couple of days ago Peter brought something home that made me very nervous. The idea of the whole thing makes me want to dig a hole and hide. Or enter into a witness protection program so he can't find me :-)....I bet I got you all curious as to what it is....well I'm gonna tell you and it's VERY SCARY!!!



It's the P90X workout system. There is a reason they make these boxes black ,it's because they are SCARY!!!

All joking aside I spend the majority of today reading reviews, looking at before and after pictures and watching some of the actual DVD's. The first DVD made me very very tierd and I was just watching it.

The workouts include the following:

Day 1 - Chest & Back
Day 2 - Plyometrics
Day 3 - Core Synergistics
Day 4 - Yoga
Day 5 - Kempo
Day 6 - Shoulders & Arms
Day 7 - Legs and Back
Day 8 - Stretch
Day 9 - Chest, Shoulders & Triceps
Day 10 - Back & Biceps
Day 11 - Cardio
Day 12 - Ab Ripper

You are suppose to do one dvd a day for 90 days with one day rest a week. Each workout DVD is an hour long.

I was contemplating doing the shred again, but I think given the fact that I am so desperate to tone my body I know this program will be perfect for me. I was looking for something new and exciting and I think this is it!

Peter & I will be doing these workouts together and I think he will be of great benefit for me to keep me challenged and to complete the whole 90 days that this program is designed for and as and added bonus I'm gonna have a ripped husband :-).

The reviews I have read are these workouts are very challenging, and most likely the first go round (the first 12 days), will be pure HELL but it does get easier as you get better.

I am very excited to see the results and very pumped to get started. Tomorrow is Day 1!!!

I am still continuing on with my training for my half marathon as well as the biggest loser group twice a week. Remember when I said that I need to "kick it up a notch" well I was serious! The reset button has been hit, all the occasions have been completed and I am ready to transform my body into exactly what I am after, I am willing to put the blood, sweat and tears into going after my goals. It will be a tough growling journey this I am positive of, but I am gonna do it.

Over the last few months I have been working out, but as I went back to some of my older posts and when I was doing the best, I was working out 6 days a week, tracking my food and weighing in and being accountable. It's time for the old Syl to come out of the wood work and make things happen. I'm sooooo excited ..and scared :-)

Puppy dog kisses make it all better!

Just kidding ! I have pretty thick skin but would like to address my last post as mentioned earlier today.

When I initially read the comments that were left for me regarding my goal weight I was a little thrown back. To be honest I had to pick myself up. I had alot of "That's WAY to low" and when reading these comments this in turn in my mind turned to "you can't". As you all know I am not a fan of "You Can't" and I proved that when I ran a 5km race in a snow storm. I felt as though you felt I was making a huge mistake.

The more I thought about this the more my "you can't" turned to "these people must be concerned" and I truly believe that is where these comments are coming from.

Whether it's been your own personal experience that lead you to say that or just a way of telling me I am being unrealistic, it's ok.

What you may have not read or missed in my last post is me saying "if I get there and feel like I am to skinny then I will rectify it". My goal is not to be skin and bone, my goal is to feel good about myself and make it to the very end.

What I am saying is that I will not know if this is right for me until I actually get there and see for myself. In the end I need to do what's right for me, and for now I feel this is right. I may get to 125 or 130 and feel like I'm done, who knows... you may all prove me wrong :-)

For those of you who were behind my goal I thank you. I have been blogging for almost a year now and I have been truly blessed by the support I recieve. I have the best readers in the world!

With all that being said, let the journey begin!

Gathering thoughts

I am trying to gathering my thoughts in regards to the reactions I recieved from my last post. I need to step back and let it all sink in because right now I don't really know what to say. I have written it many times but somehow the words are not forming into what I want them to mean.

I will respond with my thoughts soon, I promise!

In the mean time yesterday was my first "Biggest Loser" session as I had to miss Tuesday due to unforseen circumstances. The class was FANTASTIC! It was nice to get out and do lunges and pushups and circuts and running. My legs are a bit sore today but the session was wonderful. Women of all different shapes and sizes were there and even smiling, it was very refreshing and the for the first time in a long time I felt like I wasn't so alone!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Being Accountable

First step of being accountable, taking one picture of yourself and posting it for the world to see, no photo shop, no picking the best one, just putting it out there! This is officially my new "BEFORE" photo!! (Excuse the blue socks, they did match the shirt I was wearing :-))
If you have been reading my blog for any time now you would know that I am the queen of Maintenance. Although I am not at goal I have been maintaining a weight of 139 - 142 for the last 8 or so months.

For an ordinary person this would be success. Don't get me wrong I am proud of this but as I look at why I am not losing anymore the term "plateau" is stuck in my head.

I am not going through a plateau, a plateau doesn't last that long. I am not stuck at this weight because "that's where my body is comfortable" - that's a bunch of BS ...let me tell you why.

Although I have been working out and tracking my food intake I have not been accountable for it. My little experiment with putting my scale away from a month did teach me a lesson in self worth but on the negative side is has taken any kind of accountability and thrown it out the window. I am not accountable to my journey, myself, my family or any of you for that matter because all you know is that I am staying in that range.

It would be fine if I decided that 142 pounds is where I want to stay but that honestly is not!

So the way I look at it is all the running I am doing, and the tracking "that occasionally slips up" is not doing me any favours because in essence my hard work is going down the drain.

So I have decided that I am worth it to finish this journey that I have been on, enough "fooling around". I have set my goal weight at 120 pounds (Stop rolling your eyes and let me explain). At 142 pounds and 5'4" I am JUST at my healthy weight range. I gain five additional pounds and I am once again classified as over weight, that to me is TOO RISKY! I want to be in the middle of my target.

I have not worked this hard to let it go and not continue working for what I want. Although I have set out a number, I feel that I am not putting too much weight on it (no pun intended). I am striving for "healthy" rather than Skinny. Not if.... but when I get to that magic number and I feel that I am too small, then the fix for that will be rather easy, I will go to the Cheesecake Cafe and be back at 140 in not time :-). But in all seriousness, if I find I am to small than I can back off the working out.

So what are the changes that are in store. First off I will be tracking every single morsel that passes into my mouth. I will continue working out and picking it up a little. I am the cardio queen but need to incorporate more strength training. I will weigh myself ONCE A WEEK - every Monday and come here and reveal my weeks successes to you all.

It is finally time that I stop fooling around and get this job done. I am so sick of the excuses "oh I'm at a plateau, oh my body is comfortable..blah blah blah.

I am surprised someone hasn't come out and said "GIRL WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT!" This isn't working so I try that, that isn't working, so I try something else. It's time to go back to the basics! and be 100% accountable, because there are no quick fixes in this journey. This is for life and for the rest of it I'm going to have to work for it.

I have wanted this for a long time, but have been afraid to put the work in, there I said it. I am going back to square one. Doing what works, tracking, working out and being ACCOUNTABLE for the week. One week at a time, one pound at a time, I will make goal! This is why I am not setting any kind of target date. If it takes me a year I am ok with that, but atleast I can say honestly that I gave it my all. The VACATION IS OVER :-)

I will continue on with beck because I am learning a lot in the process.

Today I give myself credit for sitting back, seeing the full picture, evaluation everything and being honest with what I need to change.

Give yourself credit

Yesterday I was asked if I 'm still doing beck.....the answer is YES BUT....

On the weekend when I went for my run, I thought about how far I have come, how I embrace excersice and how great I feel after I have had a workout.

I also thought about how alone I have been in this journey. I really have done it on my own, I come here for support and have a wonderful friend that runs the actual races with me. But on the training days or the evenings after I put the kids to bed, really I am on my own. I need to motivate myself and keep going and for this I give myself credit.

I also looked at some photos over the weekend, reminising over the summer we had. One of the best summers ever. I stepped back to how I felt in the summer at my lowest weight ever, I looked at these pictures and really liked what I saw. I thought I looked fit and very happy (just like all of you have been telling me for so long). And then I thought about why I have been being so hard on myself and why I just can't break this cycle of negative thinking and being so damn hard on myself.

Over Christmas I gained 3 pounds, I thought about this realistically.... I those pictures I was 3 pounds lighter, is there really that much difference from where I was in the summer and where I am today...This weeks weigh in had me down 1.4 pounds. Is 2 pounds really going to make a person look different..... NO!!!

Then I started to panick because like I said I am going to do workouts on Tuesday and Thursday with a group of girls... on Tuesday there is a fitness test and WEIGHT IN...What did Syl panick about, weigh in is fully dress, after a full day of eating and at night....SO FRICKEN WHAT! Why the panick attack?

So back to Beck.... I am stuck on the giving yourself credit portion of the book. Until I can start giving myself credit for the amazing things I do everyday I don't feel that I can move on to the next step. So everyday I have been trying to give myself credit.

Today I give credit to myself for coming here and being honest with myself!

Set out for 5 came home after 7 :-)

Hi everyone!

I had a great run today. I set out to do a 5k run and came back feeling rather accomplished after completing a 7. It was 9 degrees out today and the sun what shining. I didn't want to stop. In fact I even felt like I could go further after my 7, but came home.

The run was a little challenging because I had slushy snow, ice patches and snow banks to deal with as it's only been warm for a few days and we still have ALOT of snow on the ground. Time didn't matter to me today, I was going for distance and it just felt good to run outside rather than on the blasted treadmill :-)

After my mid day run, I did some work around the house and had dinner:

slow cooked roast beef, oven roasted potatoes and coleslaw.. I buy the pre-shredded coleslaw and add a dab of ranch dressing for flavour. I dislike the high calorie store bought probably because I HATE mayo! Either way dinner hit the spot after my run.

On Tuesday I am starting a twice a week class at a community centre. A bunch of girls get together and do an hour workout twice a week. I can't tell you how excited I am, being the cardio queen I am a little nervous and anxious about learning new things. Maybe I'll finally be able to master a push up :-)

My posting may be a little on the light side this week, we have a house guest as well as my baby turns 3 this week. I have a party to plan, hoping to get a few more runs in while it's warm. So my posting may be all over the place, but I will try to post when I can!

I may be on a roll....

Yesterday was another good day for me, I think I may be on a roll!

The only real mistake I made was not having breakfast first thing in the morning. I left to drop off Matthew at school and then went straight to the grocery store, normally this would have been a BIG mistake, but guess what goes off at 9am...that's right my alarm to tell me to read my response cards!

Right when I came home even before putting the groceries away I threw a piece of toast in the toaster, did a drive by spread of peanut butter and sat down at the kitchen table and ate my toast.. and when I was done I gave myself credit for it.

Later in the day I ate dinner, put the kids to bed and immediately changed into my work out gear. I give myself credit for that too it was 8pm and I was just heading downstairs to do my workout.

I opted to skip the treadmill and do some weight loss Yoga instead. I got in 30 minutes and then finished off with some deep breathing and relaxation, it was exactly what I needed.

All my sore muscles feel so much better properly stretched. It was a nice change from running on that treadmill which I still have mixed feelings about, ok I admit it I HATE RUNNING ON A TREADMILL! But you know what I just keep saying "suck it up princess you have a half marathon to run in May and it's minus a million outside!" and some how that gets me through! (I may be a little mean to myself sometimes but hey I'm working on it!)

Speaking of minus a million I hear word that we are FINALLY suppose to warm up this weekend and get into the plus temperatures, you don't even know how much this EXCITES me! Someone may need to call a search party because once I can start running outside again, I may never come back :-)

Ok I leave you with one last thing, I came across these at the grocery store and for 2 CUPS AND 86 CALORIES I had to tell you about it!

They are called CheeCha puffs. They are really light and very crispy and are so much more fun to eat then a potato chip which we all know I CANT BE WITH 1 Foot of without gaining back all the weight I lost :-)

Anyways they come in a variety of flavours, just like normal potato chips, salt and vinegar, cheddar, ketchup etc etc etc. Like I said they are very good and very light tasting and you can eat TWO CUPS for a small 86 calorie penalty :-) If you can find them I would recommend buying them!

Hope everyone has a great weekend, I have NOTHING planned except to run away and not come back!!!

Complete and utter bull crap!

So day 3 with beck... how's it going - OMG did I mention that I wish I had read this book a year ago! If you are just starting out on your weight loss journey finish reading this and then GO BUY IT!!!!

Day 1 went well, I did up my que cards and get reminded every day at 9am and 4 pm why I am doing this... I have to admit that day one I felt really dumb doing it, I mean doesn't everyone already know why they want to lose weight, do I need to be reminded so many times a day..the answer is simple Y E S!

Day 2 - well Syl was down so it's a good thing that this task was easy for me. Pick a diet! Well we all know that I have been doing spark people, so I am sticking with the calorie counting. It also asks you to pick a back up diet - I chose weight watchers on line because it's my back up, been there done that, don't want to go back, but if all else fails I would, because there is no going back for this girl!

Day 3 - OK ARE YOU SITTING DOWN.... GOOD...NOW YOU MAY EAT :-)
at first I thought this was really stupid, I mean come on I paid money for this book to be told to sit down while I eat, I mean isn't that common sense?? Well apparently not for this girl. I was very mindful of how and when and where I ate all day. Being a mom of two very TRYING CHILDREN (I mean complete angels) I normally will stretch breakfast a few hours because I take a bite of my toast here, a bite there and next thing I know my coffee is cold and it's lunch time.

Today was different. I actually thought of all the times that I eat while on my feet and it just blew me away, what blew me away even more was a dinner....now BRACE yourselves... (mom if you are reading this STOP)....I left food on my plate because I was FULL! What happened with the remainder of that food, it accidently fell on the floor and world war III broke out between the two dogs.

Haven't we been taught to always eat everything that is on our plate...well let me tell you something this is complete and utterer BULL CRAP!!!!! This is what has got me FAT and why I am fighting this battle in the first place. Why continue eating if you are satisfied...oh yah because there are children starving in third world countries...very true and very sad but isn't it time that we as parents teach our children how to eat like they should, so they don't later on in life have to battle the same challenges that we do.

Day 3 completly left me winded! I can't believe how much I have learned in a day and really reflected on it. This girl is no longer going to eat standing up or everything on her plate because it's there. I am going to stop if I'm full! AMAZING!

After this revolation I took my satisfied self to the treadmill and did a 25 minute run. After skipping yesterdays workout due to being sick I felt well enough to do something. It wasn't the fastest run, but I did leave the treadmill sweating and satisfied - See the trend....

Tommorrow is Day 4 giving myself credit, this should be interesting!

Short and Sweet....

Just like Syl :-)

Anyways just wanted to write a quick post and let you know that I am still sick, yesterday was worse then the day before and today is a little better than yesteday, makes scence?? if not it could be the drugs ....

I layed down FINALLY around 7pm last night, you know how tough it is to be home sick with two kids and not be able to rest! By 7pm I was wiped! I didn't sleep instead I just layed in bed with a cup of tea and the biggest loser. I wanted to make it to the treadmill but when I stood up at 6pm last night to make something for the boys to eat my legs left like jello and my whole body ached, not treadmill material for sure!

Today I have a early dentist appointment in the about an hour and then I will play the workout by ear, see how I'm feeling later.

In the mean time head over to Julies page(you may remember Julie from the shred challenge), she's having a give away!

Oh and guess who came out of hiding....that's right my good friend Lori! Go say hi! Lori called me a skinny Bi%ch the other day, I guess that's the best compliment a girl can get from
Lori :-) Love ya girl, welcome back!!!!

1/2 hour run = pure bliss!

This my friends is how my day started yesterday. Breakfast of a english muffin with a table spoon of peanut butter, scrambled eggs and a coffee.. (see that cup I made that at the ceramics place when we went to celebrate my girlfriends birthday) off to the front of the plate is my iphone (santa brought me a pink skin for it in my stocking, I love my Santa!) any way before I could take a bite into my breakfast I had to read my reasons for wanting to lose weight. It worked great because it made me to pause for a few seconds before eating and allowed me to stop when I was full! I think Beck is on to something.....

After breakfast I made another list that I could post on the fridge, on the weekend I bought Pink cue cards (I know... I know, you are not suprised :-))



I plan to make another set for my car to keep me away from the drive through coffee places :-) Starbucks = BAD :-)

After dinner which was two slices of roast beef, roasted potatoes and a big salad, I put the boys to bed and headed downstairs.

What I haven't told you is Syl has a cold - runny nose, I look a little like rudolph...someone needs to take his place now that he is resting at the north pole!!!

Anyway I knew that I needed to get downstairs for a run. I spend more time pausing and wiping my nose more than anything but I did get a great workout in. Half an hour of pure bliss, I ran while watching smut TV...the bachelor is back on and Jack...oh my! he definately is a looker...who wouldn't want to watch him with no shirt on.....oh OOPS! I mean to say my hubby was standing in front of the treadmill and sent my blood pressure through the roof (just incase he's reading...hi honey)!!

Either way I ran and it felt FANTASTIC! As I ran I also thought of my fellow blogger Marcelle, who left me a comment to run a kilometer for her ....(Marcelle I ran 3 followed by some inclined walking for you!) Marcelle is in the hospital while they run some tests on her and still manages to track her meals and is tracking steps she takes through out the day. Now that's what I call determination, if she can do that I can most definately run on the treadmill with a runny nose!

I finished my evening by having a frozen pudding cup and a luna bar and read some of your blogs. A great ending to a fantastic first day back on track.

Oh and one last thing...sorry for the scare yesterday, I can't believe how many of you actually fell for it....you my friends are going to make great targets on April fools day :-) Be afraid...be very afraid...... (once again, just kidding!)

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

What did I do yesterday, I bet you are all can't wait for me to tell you :-)

Well...I ate 6 bags of chips, 3 chocolate bars, a slice of cheese cake and then washed it down with a two litre bottle of full strength Coke....tums followed shortly after! I wanted one last Hurray! before my new start :-)

Just KIDDING!!!!

Here's what I really did:

I signed up for a half marathon, scheduled for May 30, 2010 and then I threw up from the anxiety!!! (kidding again, but I'm sooooo nervous!)

I then had breakfast BUT before I did that I read my advantage cards just like the beck book told me to do.

I then took down the Christmas tree, all the Christmas decoration and anything to do with 2009, it's a new year a year of new beginnings, I wanted everything down before today.

I then vacummed, cleaned the house, did laundry, cleaned out the pantry and put away all the CHRISTMAS CANDY out of sight out of mind.

I made myself a box of go to snack foods in the pantry and then moved onto the fridge which I also cleaned out.

Next up was a grocery list and grocery shopping...everything is on the up and up for my new start today!

I have had enough Shoulda, woulda, coulda's it's time to make Syl the person I have been dreaming of, one step at a time :-)
Today's a scheduled 5km run, hopefully outside, if not then on the treadmill, a weigh in, a full day of tracking and a report back to all of you tomorrow!

Oh and speaking of Tomorrow, I CAN'T WAIT for the Biggest Loser!!!!

A new year, a new beginning

Hi everyone!

I have been avoiding my workouts like the plauge lately, what is wrong with me...well let me tell you I'm cutting myself some slack but it's going to end on Monday! I have been reading the Beck books the last couple of days, coming up with a plan and doing some real soul searching.

Peter goes back to work on Monday and life will return to normal. It's been great having him off but it's time to get back to the grind.

As I read the first few chapters of my books I kept thinking wow this book could be written for me. All the thoughts in my heads when I say "oh I can just have that no one will know". I need to stop the "ok I will weigh in on Monday, I have until Thursday to eat crappy and then I really have to get back on track because Monday is weigh in day again." This is how things have been going the last couple of months, it's ok but it needs to stop.

I am going to test this theory but being 100% on task for the entire month of January starting on Monday. I have given myself the last couple of days to get organized, and although I will be four days late it has given me the time to prepare - NO REGRETS!

Part of the beck program is to write cards called response cards and read them every day twice a day. I have completed that portion of the program. I spend today writing out why I want to lose weight and why it is so important to me.

It's funny because I'm 80 pounds down and I feel like I am "starting over". I kind of wish I could start back at day 1 knowing and doing what I am doing now, only I'm not willing to gain back the 80 to do that. So I'm starting over at the weight I am at right now (143 pounds).

I have programmed my phone to ring at 9am and 4 pm. 9 am is when I get home from dropping off Matthew from school and usually have breakfast, this will remind me why I am doing this even before I have my first meal. 4 pm is when I get home from picking Matthew up and usually eat dinner. I schedule this time because it's right before dinner and right before the workout and the snacking after words. These times I find will work best for me that is why I have chose them.

Know that I will not be writing about the beck diet 100%, but will be adding some things that I am discovering so you can all be in on my journey with me.

My goal right now is to lose 5 pounds at a time, small baby steps :-)

I leave you with some of the reasons I want to lose weight, some are more personal and I have left them out:

- to look in the mirror and no longer see the 220 pound body
- to wear a bathing suit
- to feel confident
- to make my family proud
- to look better
- to wear stylish clothes and feel comfortable in them
- to not feel self conscience
- to live longer
- to have more engergy
- to be in more control
- to feel accomplished
- to be less self critical
- to feel more outgoing
- to feel more assertive
- to be able to say I did it
- to board the cruise we are going on in November and feel confident and have no regrets
- to run a half marathon
- to feel better about my body

2010

Cheers to you my friends, may 2010 be all you want it to be!