I have been avoiding my workouts like the plauge lately, what is wrong with me...well let me tell you I'm cutting myself some slack but it's going to end on Monday! I have been reading the Beck books the last couple of days, coming up with a plan and doing some real soul searching.
Peter goes back to work on Monday and life will return to normal. It's been great having him off but it's time to get back to the grind.
As I read the first few chapters of my books I kept thinking wow this book could be written for me. All the thoughts in my heads when I say "oh I can just have that no one will know". I need to stop the "ok I will weigh in on Monday, I have until Thursday to eat crappy and then I really have to get back on track because Monday is weigh in day again." This is how things have been going the last couple of months, it's ok but it needs to stop.
I am going to test this theory but being 100% on task for the entire month of January starting on Monday. I have given myself the last couple of days to get organized, and although I will be four days late it has given me the time to prepare - NO REGRETS!
Part of the beck program is to write cards called response cards and read them every day twice a day. I have completed that portion of the program. I spend today writing out why I want to lose weight and why it is so important to me.
It's funny because I'm 80 pounds down and I feel like I am "starting over". I kind of wish I could start back at day 1 knowing and doing what I am doing now, only I'm not willing to gain back the 80 to do that. So I'm starting over at the weight I am at right now (143 pounds).
I have programmed my phone to ring at 9am and 4 pm. 9 am is when I get home from dropping off Matthew from school and usually have breakfast, this will remind me why I am doing this even before I have my first meal. 4 pm is when I get home from picking Matthew up and usually eat dinner. I schedule this time because it's right before dinner and right before the workout and the snacking after words. These times I find will work best for me that is why I have chose them.
Know that I will not be writing about the beck diet 100%, but will be adding some things that I am discovering so you can all be in on my journey with me.
My goal right now is to lose 5 pounds at a time, small baby steps :-)
I leave you with some of the reasons I want to lose weight, some are more personal and I have left them out:
- to look in the mirror and no longer see the 220 pound body
- to wear a bathing suit
- to feel confident
- to make my family proud
- to look better
- to wear stylish clothes and feel comfortable in them
- to not feel self conscience
- to live longer
- to have more engergy
- to be in more control
- to feel accomplished
- to be less self critical
- to feel more outgoing
- to feel more assertive
- to be able to say I did it
- to board the cruise we are going on in November and feel confident and have no regrets
- to run a half marathon
- to feel better about my body
16 comments:
I read the first few words and in my mind I knew I wanted to tell you to wait....give yourself till Monday...and then read further and saw that was what you were feeling as well.
Most people still celebrate the 2nd of the New Year, then we had a weekend, so Monday is a good place to start.
I love your reasons to wanting to be thinner...they are all mine as well and having reached 130 odd pounds I can truly say you feel all those and even better, and dread picking up the smallest amount of weight as it feels so good there.
Enjoying your sharing about the Becks book,as I said for now my focus is on positive thinking and healing with positive thoughts, but thankful I have learned all the tools on maintaining as this will have to be 2nd in my life for now...and trust me I can see its a lifestyle already, I make the good choices, stick to my points allowed..sent home a delicious looking sandwich my hubby made me cause the avocado was too thick so too many points for me - LOL...I did.
I know I will gain weight with not training and the cortisone treatment, but am okay with that as getting better is all I want right now..when back home I will start walking on the treadmill daily and slowly get back into running...I am going to be okay....
Remember to enjoy everyday while you do this NEW start to get to your goal weight.
I think you look smashing.....
I can't wait till the book arrives here. It's shipped so I suppose I'll have it on Monday. What I read sounds more than interesting and I recognize the things you say: it's my own behavior.
Enjoy this Sunday and from tomorrow you will rock! I'm starting tomorrow too with counting points at WW. I'm in doubt right now wheater I should go running today or start my exercise year tomorrow. I haven't figured that one out yet but the day is still young, it's 11 am here.
Some of your reasons why you want to lose weight are the same as I have so I can totally relate to that.
You can do it Syl and remember that if it's getting hard sometimes I'll be here for you, no matter what!
xxx
Back again to let you know I'll start tomorrow too. Won't go running today, not feeling so well today, have a little headache. So I'll start like you tomorrow!
I'm also starting back on Monday; I've been in a two week slump for some reason. I will see if the library has those books, they sound interesting.
I'm with you Syl! It was fun, but it's over ! Time to get back to reality! I am looking forward to getting back to the journey with all of my friends! Off we go!
I think most of the food blog world is feeling the same way as you. It sure was worth every last Christmas cookie but I'm definitely ready to hit the ground running. I've still got 10 more pounds to lose and it has got to go! I look forward to reading more from you :)
I like the idea of setting your phone to ring to remind us of stuff for our weight loss journey. Eating or a workout! GREAT IDEA!
Your list of reasons you want to lose weight was familiar to me especially the-- to look in the mirror and no longer see the 220 pound body. You are 20 pounds smaller than I am (I was 232) and I still see that FAT girl in the mirror. She wont go away! lol Maybe we need to send them on a permeant vacation together! lol
Tomorrow is my official start day too, Syl. I bought a new "diet log" at Chapters and I'm ready to go!
You may have even inspired me to dust off my Beck book and get reading.
I'm glad you shared your reasons with us. xoxo
I can't wait to start reading the Beck books today....so far everything you've written sounds extremely familiar and very much (to coin an Oprah phrase) an "ah-ha!" moment.
Please keep posting on what you're learning....I find it very interesting and love it.
I'm liking the pink book so far. I too feel as if it's written for me about me. You'll have to share the green one with us since I didn't get that one yet. ;)
I have been reading the Beckdiet for life book and it is pretty good!
What has been working well for me is to only eat at the table and to eat each bite slowly, hard but it is working :)
I'm looking forward to seeing your journey keep on blossoming and seeing all your self discoveries Syl! You've already come so far and are such an inspiration, I can't wait to see where you'll go!
Syl, you are going to do AWESOME this year!! I am here to support you :)
Well done Syl, for getting to where you are - and being determined to carry on! I think you've done a great job and I can totally relate to all your reasons for losing weight. You've reached a point where I would love to be a year from now - so give yourself a pat on the back!
No Regrets Syl. You deserve to take a few days to regroup and plan. I love your list and I have no doubt in my mind you will accomplish what you set out to accomplish.
welcome back to routine!
I cant say enough how ready I am as well.
looking forward to your LOOK AT ME I WORKED OUT AND GOT BACK ON THE HEALTHY LIVING WAGON post :)
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