It stopped me in my tracks!

Did you catch it...did you ...did you??? Did you catch the ending of my last post when I said "besides my ab area I am pretty ok with showing you these pictures"........

I have something to share with you...I AM SO FRICKEN HAPPY!!!

The other day I got out of the shower put on my undies and looked in the mirror, it may have been the steam from the shower but for the first time I LIKED WHAT I SAW!! Can you even believe it. I have seen it in pictures, remember when I said I liked what I looked like in the summer but ever time I looked in the mirror I still saw that 220 pound person looking back at me. Well on the weekend I saw the real me, the me that you see (well fully dressed me that you see :-)).

This feeling was amazing. And this feeling has been holding, and it took me into this little project of mine the dreaded P90X. I have to tell you that every single bone in my body hurts. It hurts to smile, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to walk, breath, eat, and don't even get me started on brushing my hair. When Peter asked me how I am feeling I responded by saying "I have never felt so confident in my life". This workout is completely above my head, but I am doing it, me little old Syl is doing it! I started out feeling really out of shape, well duh, I haven't incorportaed strength training into my routine until Monday of this week. Remember I am the cardio queen. But I feel strong, I feel accomplished, I feel in control, I feel that I can do this and the biggest feeling is I can't wait until I get to the end to see exactly what I want, I'm going to fight for it all the way to the end, this girl is not giving up!

Every day this week I have got up and continue to look in the mirror because I can't even believe what I am seeing. Yup it's still me nothing has changed since the weekend.

I can't even express to you how huge this was. After a year of seeing the big girl, it seems like just overnight, it took one long look in the mirror alot of tears and the hugest smile I have ever seen. I am here, I am seeing what you see and I couldn't be happier. I really don't know how it happened, I can't even explain it to you, but it's been the moment I have been waiting for, my head to catch up to my body.

Sure there are still moments of self doubt and negativity (like when I told you I won't post my back shot) but I am really fighting those thoughts, truly I am. Because this feeling is amazing, I don't want to lose it.

Today I give myself credit for continuing to make my dreams come true, for continuing to fight to the bitter end. I think I have nailed the "give yourself credit portion of Beck and am ready to move onto the next chapter.

I leave you with a picture taken today, hopefully you are able to see the confidence, it has stopped me in my tracks!