On the weekend when I went for my run, I thought about how far I have come, how I embrace excersice and how great I feel after I have had a workout.
I also thought about how alone I have been in this journey. I really have done it on my own, I come here for support and have a wonderful friend that runs the actual races with me. But on the training days or the evenings after I put the kids to bed, really I am on my own. I need to motivate myself and keep going and for this I give myself credit.
I also looked at some photos over the weekend, reminising over the summer we had. One of the best summers ever. I stepped back to how I felt in the summer at my lowest weight ever, I looked at these pictures and really liked what I saw. I thought I looked fit and very happy (just like all of you have been telling me for so long). And then I thought about why I have been being so hard on myself and why I just can't break this cycle of negative thinking and being so damn hard on myself.
Over Christmas I gained 3 pounds, I thought about this realistically.... I those pictures I was 3 pounds lighter, is there really that much difference from where I was in the summer and where I am today...This weeks weigh in had me down 1.4 pounds. Is 2 pounds really going to make a person look different..... NO!!!
Then I started to panick because like I said I am going to do workouts on Tuesday and Thursday with a group of girls... on Tuesday there is a fitness test and WEIGHT IN...What did Syl panick about, weigh in is fully dress, after a full day of eating and at night....SO FRICKEN WHAT! Why the panick attack?
So back to Beck.... I am stuck on the giving yourself credit portion of the book. Until I can start giving myself credit for the amazing things I do everyday I don't feel that I can move on to the next step. So everyday I have been trying to give myself credit.
Today I give credit to myself for coming here and being honest with myself!
22 comments:
That is a good start :) It does take practice, but you'll get it.
It is a great start. :) I really need to read this book!
I am so glad you did! You deserve the credit, Syl! You have come so very far! :)
You do deserve credit, Miss Syl!! Look at how many people you inspire :) Keep at it. The Beck Book is changing me! I love it!
You deserve to give yourself the utmost credit for all that you've accomplished. And we can all tell you that every day, but until you can tell yourself that every day, it will never truly sink in. Just keep working on it, it is something we all need to face and overcome!
You just wrote:
"Until I can start giving myself credit for the amazing things I do everyday"
You used the word AMAZING to acknowledge what you are doing....I think, subconsciously you're there! SURPRISE!
amazing entry...I am behind you all the way..we have to stop this negative talk and get over the number its how we feeling - I had gotten so obsessed by the number I put my body through the mills to get it there..now look..
So so proud of you...You are on the right track..
I'd feel the same way about the fitness test weigh in. It's silly, and no one cares but you, yet we get caught up in these things.
I'm in the same place right now. I'm up a couple pounds and totally down on myself, but reality is that I'm not much different than a few months ago. My own worst critic.
You are amazing Syl! It won't be long before we're down this next little hurdle.
This is the gift that time gives us. You can look back at the summer and see how great you look. You couldn't see it at the time. You're learning to accept yourself and love yourself.
You're doing everything right Syl. Take your time with that book if you need to. You're on an amazing journey and you want to savour it every step of the way.
I occasionally do the negative thinking, but I have to remind myself to look at the big picture and realize how much energy I have now and all the healthy choices I made along the way. Plus you've done an amazing job on yourself despite having a family to take care of...some people aren't even willing to make the time...or the family isn't willing to partake in healthier choices.
Syl you are one of my favorite bloggers- and here's why: you have a good head on your shoulders. You are realistic about when you need to step it up and aren't doing your best but you don't fall into self loathing. Not sure that's the kind of compliment people look for- but it's one you deserve!
Tiff
www.project365th.blogspot.com
You are so much more than a number, Syl!
This is just a wild guess, but it sounds like you're petrifed of going all the way back up to where you started.
That is NOT going to happen. Your life has changed and you are one determined little woman...running a race in a snowstorm!
A couple of weeks ago, while I was eating my face off in Florida, I checked your blog to see what you were up to. I saw your cute photo, all dressed up for the holidays, looked back at your "before" photo, then switched back to your holiday photo again. I thought "Now there's someone who's got this figured out".
You are an inspiration, Syl. You really are!
Sometimes I'm sad when I read about being so negative about yourself. I just want to jump on a plane and come over just to hug you. I can tell you not to do that but it's something you have to learn for yourself.
Deep down you know how far you've come and one day you say it out loud too and that's the day you've accepted the new you!
After reading your post I can think of a lot of things to give you credit for:
- Running yesterday
- Looking at your summer pictures and being proud of yourself
- Down 1.4 pounds this week
- Going to a fitness group
- Taking the time to finish this step in Beck's book before going to the next one
- Being honest on your blog about it
- And last but certainly not least: just being you, you're a great person.
In the end we are all alone on this journey. Sure we have support from family, friends, bloggers, co workers and so on but we are the ones who have to make the choices of what we eat, when we exercise and sometimes that's just difficult. I'd sometimes wish I wake up one morning with a healthy weight and in super shape but unfortunately dreams often don't come true so I'll keep on working on it and one day I'll get there, thanks to you for supporting me but mostly thanks to myself. And that's what deserves the biggest credit of all!
Have fun tonight Syl.
:) I give you a lot of credit. You consistently bring it.
I am proud of you.
Have fun tonight!
(and I love to hear you being positive)
I think this blog post is the first step to making you realize what an amazing job YOU have done.
Support from family, friends, bloggie buddies is awesome but your the one doing the work!
Keep rockin it!
Well, it's about time you gave yourself the credit you deserve, Syl ! :)
The part I just got done with was all, "I've already been doing this, I'm ahead of the game" stuff for me and I'm sure it will be the same for you. Take your time with the book. I'm going to also. I like the beginning and the little tips but we are already doing it Syl. You more than me of course.
You'll get there Syl because you are practicing and working hard at it. Just like when you started running...did you ever think you'd be running as far as you do? Probably not. So just believe in yourself and you'll be a positive thinker as you practice it more and more. You've already made such big steps towards that goal!!!
I give you credit for having such great commenters (present company excepted...)
Good for giving yourself credit syl. That's a hard thing to do when losing or maintaining cause you're thinking of everything you did wrong, etc. Keep up the great work girlie!
Great job!! I am finding I have such a hard time with the same "step" and just haven't been able to get with the program, as it were, quite yet.
But I am uber proud of you, Syl - you've done awesome and continue to do awesome each and every day!
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